Let's dance and shout!

So every day we'll be happy I know
Now I know that you won't leave me no more

It won't be long yeh, yeh, yeh
It won't be long yeh, yeh
It won't be long yeh, till I belong to you, woo

I am literally dancing in my seat right now. We finally got some good news on the fertility front! Hubby and I went to the University of Pennsylvania Hospital Fertility clinic for an in-office semen analysis on Tuesday. Hubby was SO nervous...about performing in the office (which wasn't an issue) and what the results were going to be. I guess I was thinking about the results when I went to bed on Tuesday night as well, because I had a dream that they told us that hubby's results were 20 million.

This morning hubby called for the initial results. Morphology isn't completed yet, but so far the news is SO encouraging.

2.5 ml total volume – anything over 2 is normal

9 million swimmers per ml so he said the total number in the total volume of 2.5ml is 23 million! That's a far cry from the 5 dead swimmers they saw last March.

Of that 57% motility(that’s the number that swim in a straight line) – he said that anything over 50% is good

The only thing they won’t have until next week is the morphology which is normal vs. abnormal.

We are OVER THE MOON! This is the first good news we have had in such a long time! We go back to the male reproductive endocrinologist next week. Then we will discuss treatment and the final results. I don't know if it is hubby's body naturally getting back to work since discontinuing the meds or acupuncture or just our prayers being answered, but we finally feel like we are moving in the right direction. Hopefully, it won't be long until we are either naturally pregnant or have an IUI that results in pregnancy! Hubby tells me to dream about a BFP...maybe that dream will come true, too!

Here comes the sun

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right

The weekend was rough. I was so depressed and not for any particular reason which always makes it so much harder. Each day when I woke up, a wave of sadness just overtook my body and left me so exhausted I could barely get out of bed. It's not the first time I have felt this. Probably not the last either.

Luckily, the depression seemed to pass on late Monday afternoon and has gone away. I can only assume it was some sort of hormonal shift. That is usually what happens to me when my hormones are messed up. Depression. Crying for no reason. Angry for no reason. And then it disappears as quickly as it shows up. A rainstorm that stops. Sudden sunshine. Thank you, God! I don't think I could have taken too many more days of that sadness.

So, hopefully my hormones are shifting back in the right direction. Back toward normal and away from spotting, long periods, late ovulation, etc. I can only hope and pray for this.

Tonight I have my third acupuncture treatment. I am so looking forward to just relaxing. The doctor has started me on an herbal treatment to help get my body going in the right direction. (My depression did start soon after beginning the herbs, so maybe it actually did something!)I was going to discontinue the herbs if I continued to feel depressed. Luckily, it seems to have gone away on its own. Andrew has another herbal recipe that he has ordered for me to help with luteal phase deficiency. Not sure when that comes in.

Did I mention I can't wait for my next acupuncture session?

In the beginning...

In the beginning it all seemed so easy. We would get married, wait a few years, and then have a baby. Simple plan, yes? So, when the time came for a baby, we thought that it would just be a matter of time until we got that prized + on the pregnancy test. It wasn't that simple...

After going off birth control, I started charting right away to see if I ovulated and if so, when. I do ovulate, but it is very late in my cycle and I spot from the time I ovulate until 8 days later when I get my period. It's something called a luteal phase defect. Something that is apparently fixable, although I haven't had it happen yet after 2 rounds of clomid.

Then we found out that my husband had low testosterone....really low testosterone. He went to a urologist who put him on testopel, a testosterone replacement therapy. He assured us that it wouldn't impact hubby's fertility. His count before starting the treatment: 40 million. His count after 3 months on the treatment: a big fat, painful zero.

I will never forget my husband's face when he was told...it was such a pained, terrified, tortured look. One of disappointment, anger, and hopelessness. He couldn't speak. His eyes teared up. He was taken off the testopel and came back 3 months later to see if his body had started making sperm again...it had not.

Our next stop was an endocrinologist (Dr. S) who is a lovely lady who has restored hope and confidence in us. She told us of a special endocrinologist in Philly who would be able to restore my hubby's fertility with some specialized shots. Something that she couldn't do herself because it needs more monitoring. So, she faxed his records over to the doctor, gave a call that hubby needs to be seen by this doctor...and we're still waiting to even get an appointment...3 months later. In the meantime, hubby is on a low dose of testosterone in order to prevent osteoporosis...but also prevents us from moving forward with ttc.

While we are waiting we have begun acupuncture. I'll talk about it more in my next post. It's a really weird sensation, but totally relaxing.

So, that's where we are starting...we're in limbo waiting to get into the specialist. We're still not sure if we will ever have biological children...we're still waiting and hoping that parenthood doesn't pass us by.