Saying Goodbye

My grandfather passed away early Saturday morning. He had been in hospice care since Tuesday afternoon due to stage 4 and stage 3 cancers throughout his body. In addition he was septic from a perforated bowel.

I knew the instant the phone rang what I was going to hear. It was news that brought both sadness and relief. Relief that he didn't have to labor breathing anymore or feel any pain. Sadness that I was saying goodbye to a wonderful man who had always shown us such love.

My last conversation with him was about the baby. I had just had my 12 week ultrasound done and I went over to show him it. He was SO excited to see those pictures. He was thrilled that he was finally going to be a great-grandfather. He suffered short term memory loss, but remembered that he saw the photos and told my grandmother to see me...that I had pictures of the baby to show her. The baby left quite an impression.

I am sad that he will never get to hold his great-grandchild. Or see his grandson get married in June. But I am glad that he doesn't have to suffer a slow painful death from the cancer. I have been on that journey with other family members. I know he is in heaven looking down on us. I know he will be watching over our child.

I do believe that things happen for a reason. When we went to hubby's endocrinologist appointment last week, we found out that his count hadn't gone up much. So, basically we have a miracle baby...one that is meant to bring our family joy when we have such sorrow this year. One generation left this earth but another generation is on its way to join us.

Now I just need to get through the viewing tonight and the funeral tomorrow. I dread these things...I am a person who deals with grief privately. And I still have some morning sickness...so hopefully I can get through the next two days gracefully.

I love you, grandpop! Thank you for always taking such good care of our family. I have so many happy memories with you...I will always love and miss you, but I celebrate your return to heaven.