Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Our new friend "spot"

I had another appointment this morning. It was for a blood work and my first ultrasound. Unfortunately, I had to move my original appointment to a later time so hubby couldn't come, but my mom came with me and seemed very happy to be able to see her grandchild. My hcg levels came back at a healthy 4810. My progesterone level is still 12.7, but they said it is okay since I am on progesterone.

The best part was the ultrasound. Although we can't really see anything other than a black spot, it is proof that there IS a baby in there! The doctor measured the baby and it seems to be right on track for its age. She also told me that the baby came from my right ovary. My mom thought it was so cool that the doctor could tell that. So, apparently, there IS something in that uterus of mine!!! Hopefully, it will keep on growing!I brought home "baby's first picture" for my hubby to see.

I go back on Friday March 4 for another ultrasound. We'll hopefully see a heartbeat then!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Parents #2 told...

We went to my in-laws on Sunday for my sister-in-law's birthday. It was nice to spend time playing with the kids. After dinner, we gave my sister-in-law her gift. In the gift bag was a spa gift card wrapped up in a bib that said "I love my auntie." She pulled out the gift card, unwrapped the bib and was concentrated on the spa pamplet. When she looked up, we said "Do you know what the bib means?" She INSTANTLY got it. Tears welled up in her eyes. She sprang from her seat and ran over to give us a hug! My mother-in-law also cried. We told everyone the story of how we found out and when we think I am due. Everyone was so excited!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Told my parents

Last night (after I had an anxious time of ordering my bridesmaids dress for my brother's wedding) we stopped by my parents house. I told my mom that I got something for my SIL's bridal shower I wanted to show her. When she reached inside the bag, she pulled out a bib that said "If mommy won't give you it, call grandmom." My mom looked up and said "You're pregnant!" A huge smile came across her face. My dad had such a look of relief on his face and also had a huge smile!!! Needless to say, they were surprised and very excited. We'll be telling hubby's side of the family on Sunday.

Beta #2 & insomnia

It's been a hard day's night
And I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night
I should be sleeping like a log

Well, it was a really long night. I barely slept. It seems like I wake up at 2am-3am each night and have trouble falling back asleep. Part of it is probably nerves and the rest is just that my hormones must be changing my sleep patterns. Needless to say, I am exhausted all the time. Last night was no exception...I think I only got a few hours of sleep!!! I've got a BAD headache today (along with the usual nausea)...probably from the lack of sleep.

I went for my second beta test today. The nurse called me and told me that my numbers are rising nicely. My hcg level went from 396 to 619. They wanted it to at least double and it did that! My progesterone level went from 12 to 13.7 so that is doing okay as well. I am to continue on my prometrium and prenatals. I go back on the 23rd for my next beta test and our first ultrasound! They are going to look and see if they can see a black blob that it our baby!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Beta #1

The nurse just called with my first beta levels. My hcg is 296. She said that is a healthy number. My progesterone is 12. She said they look for over a 10, so that is doing fine as well. I am to continue on the 200 mg of progesterone daily and my prenatals and come back on Wednesday morning for my second beta test!

I am SO happy that things are looking good so far! Now, I just need the levels to double...please stick little baby!!!

Excited and so scared

Listen, do you want to know a secret,
Do you promise not to tell, Whoa . . . . .

It's been a crazy weekend. First of all, I have been experiencing a ton of nausea. I am not sure if it is pregnancy related or not. I like to think it makes me feel more confident. I have also been having some pain in the girls. They are definitely swollen right now.

While Hubby and I are still grinning ear to ear and somewhat in shock, the reality is also setting in. I have begun to feel nervous about how the baby is doing...if it is developing right and if my body is doing what it is supposed to. I think it's only natural to be nervous. It took us 2 years to get to this point. I am trying really hard to just tell myself that I am pregnant TODAY and not worry about tomorrow. But it is hard.

It's also hard to keep it a secret! We haven't told a soul yet IRL. I think we're just too afraid that it might not last and we don't want to get everyone's hopes up too soon. Our current plan is to tell our parents and siblings if the betas go well. I know I would want their support if anything happened later on. If the betas are not looking good, I think we might keep it to ourselves. We're so excited, but also cautious. I think we know too much about infertility and miscarriages for our own good sometimes.

Over the weekend we got this bib:

It says "I love my Auntie." It's my SIL's birthday so we might include it in her gift on Sunday if we are feeling more confident in this pregnancy. I have to admit...the infertile in me is terrified that we bought anything even so much as a bib. Its completely irrational, but I just worry we jinxed ourselves even though I know that a bib can't cause a miscarriage!

I had my blood drawn today for my first beta test. Hopefully the numbers will come in high! This day is SO long...I have a feeling these first few weeks are all going to be long...

Friday, February 11, 2011

It's true!!!

I took 2 more pregnancy tests at lunch. Each was a different brand. They came up positive right away! I called hubby at work...I just couldn't contain it. I cannot believe that I am actually pregnant! I NEVER thought this day would come!

God has listened to all of our prayers and answered them. Hallelujah!

Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for this blessing you have given to us. You have heard our cries and prayers and answered them. You never abandoned us. Please help us to protect and nurture this baby. Help this child grow strong and healthy. Dear Lord, please help my body to be strong so it can help this child!

Tonight we'll be celebrating somehow. And we're going to get a new camera. It was on my list of things to do before our trip to Disney anyway, now it is a higher priority. I have to document these moments of happiness!

Could it be?

I need to laugh and when the sun is out
I've got something I can laugh about
I feel good in a special way
I'm in love and it's a sunny day

I am literally shaking right now!!! So, I have been ill for the last 2 days. I thought I just picked up a stomach virus from my hubby (which I may have done.) As usual on Day 14 of my cycle I took a pregnancy test. I put it on my bedside table while I got dressed. Just before leaving the room I remembered to take a glance at it. I figured it would be yet another NO. To my utter shock it said "YES +". I let out a scream...literally. Then I ran down the hallway to my hubby. I don't think I even said anything except " Yes" and shoved it in his face.

I am TOTALLY terrified that it is a false positive. I mean...our chances of getting pregnant on our own weren't great. I also had a thinner lining than the RE wanted to see this cycle which is why we didn't do an IUI this month.

I am too scared to believe it is true after literally 2 years of trying...a zero sperm count...and tons of bleeding. So I am going to the doctor on Monday for a beta test. And I put in a call to the GYNO to get more prometrium.

I am trying to hold my urine so I can take another test today.

As my hubby said...we're gonna need to stock up on pregnancy tests to get me through the weekend!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Decisions, Decisions...

I am a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. I am SO excited to be a part of their special day. I love the dress that I will be wearing. My only real issue is basically the unknown. They are getting married in June. I just don't know if I will be pregnant by then. And thus, I am not sure what SIZE I will be by then.

I am already gaining some weight from the progesterone. It makes me hungry with a capital H and tired with a capital T. Hungry plus tired means I am eating a ton and not exercising and it has not been kind to me on the scale. There is only so much that I can blame on bloat.

I consulted with my lovely on-line friends...between the possibility of pregnancy and the weight gain from drugs, they think order my bridesmaids dress up one size. I can always get it taken in...which is way better than the "praying that I fit in the dress" scenario.

So, this weekend, I will be doing the measurements and then next week I will order the dress. This weekend I am also getting back to my regularly scheduled exercise routine. Even though we have had snow twice a week for the last month, that is no excuse for not hitting the gym. I am going to push myself!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Love/Hate Relationship with Progesterone

I don't like you
But I love you
Seems that I'm always
Thinking of you
Oh, oh, oh,
You treat me badly
I love you madly

I have been taking progesterone supplements for about 6 months now. I have a love hate with those little yellow pills. I love that they stop my bleeding. Progesterone supplements are the ONLY thing that extend my luteal phase. Those little lumps of yellow give me hope that maybe one day I will be able to carry a child.

Unfortunately, they also give me some side effects that I could live being incredibly tired. I can sleep for 12 hours and then get up and still be tired. It usually starts about 2 days after I have started the supplements so I know it is caused by my little yellow friends. I basically get up tired, go to work, and then go home, make dinner, and sleep again. I can only imagine that this is a small taste of what the first trimester will be like.

I have occasional bouts with nausea as well. For the most part, this has gotten better since I switched to taking the pills vaginally, but for some reason this month is bad. I have to eat to keep myself from getting sick, but at the same time I feel nauseous all the time and it is hard to choke down food.

The last thing is it make me hungry...and this is one of my biggest problems because I seem to be gaining some weight. I have been trying to make sure it is healthy food that I am eating. But the fact that I am eating more and exercising less (due to the fatigue) is a bad combo. I am working on changing this around.

Last night was a particularly rough night. I felt sick, tired, and emotional. Basically, I wanted to curl up, hurl, and go to sleep at the same time. I don't know why this month I am feeling the effects more than in past months. But, I am willing to put myself through this month after month if I get a baby out of it. Considering that my hubby has had a sore butt from all the injections since October, it's a small price to pay.

Progesterone...I love you...and I hate you...