Tired and the journey is just beginning...

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I know that we are just beginning our journey with IF. It just seems to overwhelming and tiring today. We're already into the TTC thing 20 months. Its another 2 months until hubby gets another SA and will begin treatments. We have no idea if or when the treatments may work to bring his SA numbers back up. And that doesn't even include all of my issues. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to see if I can start progesterone supplements while I wait for hubby's SA to get to the point where we can do an IUI as I am tired of spotting all the time. I literally feel like there is one week out of every month where I don't bleed or spot. It's getting tiresome. Especially since my cycles are about 23 days long right now.

Today I am just tired from work, infertility, life... and I know we have a long way to go. Do I think we will eventually have a child in our life? Yes. For some reason the month of July is just stuck in my head...don't know if it is when my child will be born or if maybe we will conceive next July. I don't even know if July has anything to do with it...maybe I am just making up a month in my head so that in my mind there will be an end to all of this. I just don't know. All I know is that I want to be a mom. I feel it from the deepest depths of my soul. And that is why the thought of never being a mom (biological or adoptive) scares the hell out of me.

So today, I am going to throw myself into other things. I am going to take the dog for a walk. I am going to make a nice dinner for my husband. I am going to clean the house. I am going to exercise. I am going to do something that isn't related to TTC.