An open letter to all family

From now on, my hubby and I are going to do what we want for all holidays. We are done trying to compromise and please people. It is never enough for you. Someone is always crying that they aren't getting enough time with us and that WE are being selfish. For 31 years I have tried to compromise and put your feeling first. I have swallowed my own feelings and desires in order to make you happy. That ends today. I am tired of the joy being taken out of the holidays due to your control issues. Today I am putting my family first. In case you don't realize it, my husband and I ARE a family even if you won't recognize it. I am no longer going to be manipulated by tears and guilt trips. If you are sad and alone it is your own DAMN fault. Don't call me. Don't try to make me feel bad. Instead of playing the constant victim, you need to look inside and realize that you are never happy unless you are 100% in control. Life moves on. We are not 3 year olds any more. We are adults and we have our own lives. I am not your babysitter. I don't need to hear that you & Dad can't handle being alone as a couple for a few hours on Christmas morning. I am FREAKING COMING TO DINNER. I DON'T NEED TO HOLD YOUR HAND ALL DAY! I don't want to hear the crying about "why do I even bother to put up a tree since no one comes over." If you don't want to, then don't. I haven't asked you to do it once. I know you are upset that another family member is having Christmas, but don't take it out on me. LEARN TO MOVE ON or DO YOUR OWN CHRISTMAS. I would love to enjoy a nice pleasant holiday with you, but you won't allow it because you refuse to compromise in any way.

Today it ends.

Last time I checked, Christmas is not about a day. It's about God's love for us and his wanting us to love each other. We give you all the time we have out of love and you slap us back in the face and tell us that unless we spend all day with you, it is not enough. Well, sorry...you can either make the most of the time we have together and accept that your children also have families now, or you can see less of us because I do not deserve this type of abuse and I refuse to allow you to control my life.

PS. Thanks so much for putting all of this on us last night...its not bad enough that we are dealing with infertility at the holidays and that we just paid $200 to have another BFN. It's not enough that I have my period at Christmas. It's been hard enough to get into the spirit of Christmas. I truly appreciate your being a total ass to me and my husband because you don't feel like we do enough for you. By ALL MEANS, tell me what I can do to make YOU all better....NEVER bother to ask me how I or my husband FEEL. DON'T take into consideration our feelings...our hurts...we only work 60 hours a week, inject hormones into our bodies and never once complain when you ignore us at these family functions that you are so desperate to have us at because we don't have children.